This morning I finished polishing the small group questions we e-mail out to leaders before every Sunday service. They’re a guide to help discussion flow that the group leaders customize to their group.
This series on Song of Songs has been more challenging than some for me to write about as a single man, so Stephen has been helping me out as he puts together the sermon. Even so, the polishing process can touch some deep chords as I think about how I’ll lead my group of singles and what it means to me personally.
This was especially true as we posed questions about sex being one of God’s greatest gifts to us. Now if I was married, I would be shouting “YES!” right about now. It truly is a gift of beauty, excitement and rapture.
But what I’m really thinking is, “Ok, I’ve had a really hard time finding a person who I really connect with emotionally and physically… Am I ever going to receive this gift. Some don’t get to experience it for ministry’s sake… I’m in career ministry… My chances are narrower… Will I need to stay single for the rest of my life… Will I be forever longing and never enjoying?” And on it goes unless I shut it down.
The easy answer here is to say, “trust God,” but frankly that doesn’t answer the question. I could trust God with the deepest trust and still be a single hermit. Many have done just that. Someone might say, “God has a perfect plan for you,” but God’s perfect plan might still be for me to never experience this, “one of God’s greatest gifts.”
I do have hope that God will one day provide me with a loving wife or help me experience passion and love in Him that outweighs any need for sex. He has done this before for many people. But what I want my friends here in the city of voices to know… what I want my friends at Mosaic to keep close to their heart… is that this is an ache still tender. So when you speak of the great beauty of sex and the gift that it is. Help me… help us to understand one more time that each receives his or her own gifts that are not alike. Help us feel once more that the gifts we receive are not the silver medal in relationships, but the worthy sacrifice of faithful servants.
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Thursday May.4.2006 at 11:20 pm PDT
Seth Whipple
Parke, thank you for being honest. I have been most impressed with your ability to capture thoughts with words.
You say some profound things here that I have felt but was never really ever able to get down. I suppose if I pulled some of my journals out I would find myself in your shoes.
I want to say thank you for being faithful. Thank you for not running from the hard questions. Thank you for being real. Thank you for waiting. It is not a silver medal you receive my friend. You hold in you an amazing gift which many a man has quickly traded away. This gift will receive honor either here or in heaven. In either place the reward will be so much more than one can write down using the most eloquent or ingenious words.
You are a man. I appreciate your heart.
PS You also take great photos.