It ended today. Lingering… Gone. And you, the provider the always, were there. You were not there
How could you be? Could you affirm me for me? Could you process the pain?
Could you comfort me with a gentle touch? Could you talk me down when this comes back to mind again?
I have faith that You can. But your people… your people that I love… they give me hollow, repetitious phrases. Who has courage enough to speak how your immaterial love meets the material? Who will tell me how the sexual being is made complete without sex? I have faith that You can. But your people… your people that I love… are silent.
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Monday July.9.2007 at 9:14 pm PDT
Julie
Parke, this seems like a lament psalm for which the background is unclear. But your pain is clear. I’m sorry, my brother. May you experience the Balm of Gilead.
The “theology of the cross” is a painful and wonderful truth that I am just beginning to study. Maybe it will be some comfort to you.
Monday July.9.2007 at 10:59 pm PDT
parke
I think part of the frustration is that people will speak about singleness and faith in abstract terms, thinking it is more holy. In truth, what I need most times is not a review of principles but an honest conversation that picks apart the abstract terms and says what’s actually happening physically and emotionally.
Tuesday July.10.2007 at 5:38 am PDT
Julie
Okay, I hear you now. But having experienced about 2.5 honest conversations instead of others’ cliches or avoidance regarding the issues I’ve faced with my health….including my pastors, I don’t know what can be expected. But I do hear you. And that is just with health…health! Nevermind singleness.
I have found most comforting the older godly people who are willing to engage in wise, deep, and honest conversation with me on suffering through the books/sermons they have written.
Friday July.13.2007 at 7:39 am PDT
Lon
just caught up to your blog… life gets real muddy when we really bring it down to earth doesn’t it? thanks for sharing